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Contrary to the popular lyrics, love is definitely not all you need. I know from personal experience that it is not even all you need to maintain a romantic relationship; that takes other things as well, including various compatibilities and mutual consideration. This lesson, like many others, can be learned well from personal experience and repetition and I have learned it very well indeed.
My last such experience was with Erin: our romantic relationship has ended. It ended not because we lack love for each other, but because neither of us was truly happy in that relationship. With this knowledge in mind, I can move forward from the relationship relieved and happy for both of us. Ending a relationship need not be a negative experience; the prospect of securing greater happiness for all involved is a very positive prospect indeed.
"Do you know what's funny?", Erin has often asked me.
"Jokes", I have sometimes replied. "Jokes are funny." But by "funny", people often mean not only humorous, but strange—with or without humor. Regarding my break-up with Erin, at least two things fall into that category and they are two aspects of the same thing.
First, there is the fact that after saying she was not going to do some unspecified thing via telephone, Erin said "I'm going to break up with you tonight", which pretty much does the job—no appointment and no notary public are necessary. That is definitely strange funny, but also somewhat humorous funny and I couldn't help thinking about the scene in The Life Aquatic when Ned says he is going to punch Steve, which is of course a very different situation aside from the fact that Ned completely reveals his intentions before the proper time has come.
Second, there is the fact that after feeling sporadically yet too-frequently either dubious about my romantic relationship with Erin or simply unhappy in it through most of its duration and feeling rather unfairly and inconsiderately persecuted again by her last night (a regular occurrence when I have not conformed to her expectations) when she knew very well that I had been ill all week (without a single visit from her, by the way) and that I was feeling both ill and tired last night, it had already occurred to me that the time had probably come to end our romantic relationship, so despite feeling ill, I had already put on shoes and a jacket and tried to call Erin to ask if I could go to her apartment so we could talk. Twice she did not answer, though, and twice I left a message before she eventually called back and told me that she had been busy talking on the telephone when I had called and that she was going to break up with me.
Irony. Irony can be funny.
Since I wanted it too, I must admit that it was a great relief to hear Erin say that she wanted to break up because it meant that I would not have to risk hurting her feelings to seek greater happiness. Hopefully, we will both be happier now.
